So Much Has Happened!

I apologize for being absent from this Blog for so long but so much has happened. Since I last posted here, we have had a great sorrow in our family. My nephew was killed in an accident in September of 2010. His name is Shane and he was 17 years old.

I have found it impossible to write about this until now. We are a close knit family. The loss of my brother's child was almost more than I could stand. All of us are still grieving. It has been emotionally shattering for our family.

How do we make sense of the loss of a child? Who do we blame? So many people at the funeral kept saying it was "God's will" or "God's plan" for Shane, but I can't seem to accept that. I keep thinking that God had a much better plan for Shane and that this was simply an accident that no one could have forseen or prevented.

Shane was bright, young, beautiful, smart, and loved by everyone who knew him. He could light up a room just by walking in the door. But that light has gone out now, and we are left standing in the dark and trying to understand why he is gone.

Maybe someday we will know why he was taken from us...when we can speak to God face to face. But it won't matter then because we will all be together again, with Shane, in God's presence...and then there will be a family reunion like none we have ever known!

I love you, Shane. I will never forget you. And I will see you someday in God's house.

Catching Up

I spent the month of July in Pryor with Sam and I am behind on my Blog reading and writing. So I will be playing catch up for the next few days. I certainly did miss my computer but there was no Internet in the little RV park we were in.

Now that I'm back home, I am catching up on some errands...paying bills, taking my van in for some work, seeing friends and relatives, etc. I am enjoying "puttering" around the house. It is very relaxing.

The actual temperature today was 105 degrees here! I went out around 3 o'clock to water the chickens and saw that 4 of them were out of the pen. Not sure how they are getting out but Dickens (our 11 year old Brussels Griffon pictured above, and yes, his tongue does hang out like that all the time) was able to run all of them back in but one. It's just so hot here that we couldn't stay out too long chasing chickens...so that last hen is on her own for now.

I wonder about those chickens...they are smart enough to get out of the pen when the gate is closed, but not smart enough to go back in when the gate is open! Even with Dickens herding them they ran right past the open door...silly biddies. They also haven't started laying any eggs yet. If I were to put an empty KFC bucket in the pen, do you think they would get the message?

To my Blogger friends, I will be stopping by your Blogs soon to catch up on all your news. Until then, happy typing and...((Hugs))

So Much To Report!

Sam is back to work! Whoopee!!!

And I am here at home taking care of the garden and our pets. Sam's company is sending him to Canada to install a conveyor line at a Gatorade plant there...but I won't be going with him on this trip.

I will stay home with our 3 dogs, 1 cat, our cockatiel, and 9 chickens, to keep the home fires burning. And I hate it that I can't go with my hubby!! Oh well...we do what we have to in this life, don't we.

Connor is doing well. He is fighting his battle with Leukemia bravely! After the first bone marrow transplant didn't work, we were a bit terrified!!

But the second transplant has all the indications of being a success!! And we thank God for that!!

Hang in there, Con-Man! We love you!!

This photograph is of our cockatiel, "Jodie-Bird". She loves to "help" me when I am on the computer. She is fascinated by the keyboard and my typing. Crazy bird!... I just love her!!

Late Night Ramblings

It's so HOT and humid here in June and July! Oklahoma has some extremes in weather conditions. We had a snow storm on the first day of Spring this year, and of course, there are the tornadoes to contend with almost year round.

But I can't complain about the heat...I am definitely a summer person! The feel of the warm sun on my skin is like a life giving force to me.

My roses are blooming again...they are so beautiful and fragrant. Sometimes it's the simple things that make life special.

Hubby has been told by his company that he will be getting some work soon. That is a relief! He has never been laid off for this long before. My job search continues but, so far, no luck. I am thinking about going back into nursing.

My birthday was spent quietly with Sam (my Hubby) watching movies and eating comfort foods. I am happy to be another year older. Life is so sweet!

Father's Day was sad for me. We lost our Dad to cancer several years ago. I always wish that I could see my Dad just one more time and tell him that I love him. There never seems to be enough time to know and love people enough, does there?

Two days before Sam and I married, my Dad was sitting with me at the dining room table and he said something to me that I've never forgotten. He said, "Life isn't all sunshine and roses,"

Of course, being a teenager, I just rolled my eyes and thought, "okay, Dad, whatever." But Dad was right. Life isn't all sunshine and roses. I found that out very quickly.

Still, I have planted rose bushes in the garden/yard of every home we have had in the last 35 years.

I can't control the sunshine...but I can have the roses!

Thank you, God, for the roses.

My 53rd Birthday Tomorrow...Can I Sleep Peacefully?

My grand daughter is pictured here, sleeping peacefully, on a recent family camp out...so lovely! Do you remember what it was like to fall asleep so easily? I do! Oh, how I miss that! I will have my 53rd birthday tomorrow...will I sleep this peacefully tonight?


I will officially be 53 years old tomorrow. (Yikes!) My blog is a running commentary on the fifth decade of my life, so I apologize ahead of time for my ramblings, but I can't help myself!

I married young, just 2 weeks short of my 18th birthday. We were just kids and didn't know anything except that we loved each other. So we proceeded to make a home together and have a family. We had no money and were quite naive and immature...

...yet, here we are, 35 years later, and still happy together. We have 2 children and 4 grand children and they are my delight and joy!

I have made a lot of mistakes in my 53 years. Some of them have been minor and others will haunt me until the day I die. But that's life. Oh, I never killed anyone or anything like that...but I am harder on myself, in judgement, than anyone else would be. Why is that?

When we have done the best we know how to do, often we still look back and think, "I could have done better."

When I was a little girl, I never thought of anything so deep or involved as these thoughts that run through my adult mind. My greatest worry as a child was the weather...if it rained, I knew I couldn't go out and play...and that was bad.

I remember going to bed at night, falling asleep so immediately that I wasn't aware of the process, and waking up in the morning, fully rested, thinking that I had only closed my eyes a minute ago...remember that?

As an adult, I often toss and turn, unable to sleep when there are so many things crowding my mind.

I continue to watch the weather every night to see if I can "go out and play". (Seriously, I do! I still love being outdoors.)

And I watch my lovely grand daughter fall asleep with such innocent ease that it makes me smile...and I sleep better...because it reminds me of how it felt (once upon a time) to close my eyes and truly rest...with no thought of what tomorrow might bring.

I am 53 years old tomorrow and I thank God for every blessing, experience, trial and year of my life! "No man is an island."...and it has been my great privilege to be surrounded by wonderful people who have helped me along the way.

I think I will sleep well tonight. I will sleep well because after 53 years of living I can say I have done all I know to do to be a good person.

My mistakes have taught me so much. And my blessings have made me thankful for what I have....and so my 5th decade continues...God bless you, my friends and sleep well.

Wedding Anniversary Number 35 Today!

This is my sweetheart of 35 years...Sam! I can not believe we have been married that long. But the evidence is there. Two great kids and four perfect grandkids, as well as a ton of memories.

We went to an informal get-together last night at our friend's house, and one of my girlfriends asked me, "How could you stand to be married to the same man for 35 years?" I thought about it for a second and then told her that I guess Sam and I were just lucky...lucky to love each other as much as we do, lucky that we like each other so much, and lucky that we made it through the tough years without giving up.

She wanted to know if I have been happy and I was glad I could answer "Yes, but not every second!" She didn't seem to get that. So I will tell you what I told her...

In 35 years a lot of stuff happens, life happens! Some things are good and some are not so great. But we loved each other enough that we wanted a life together, so we fought for that life...and often fought with each other in the process. But we never fought without respect...and we never forgot what was important.

Okay, maybe luck doesn't have as much to do with a long and successful marriage as plain hard work does. But I WAS lucky enough to marry a very sweet, caring man.

So, thank you Sam, for loving me for 35 years. It has been quite a ride!

Connor at Texas Transplant Institute

Connor has been in San Antonio, Texas at the Texas Transplant Institute for almost a week now...and he is doing very well. But things will get harder for him from here on.

So far Connor has gone through some routine tests and has been "marked" for the radiation treatments he will need in preparation for the transplant. He has also been found to be an acceptable candidate for the double donor transplant study. This greatly increases his chances of permanent remission!

Let me explain...instead of receiving cells from only one donor, Connor will be getting cells from 2 different donors. These cells will be taken from umbilical cord blood that has been clamped and separated after delivery. Two sources will be used. This allows one source to become the dominate cells effectively defeating the other set of cells. That means survival of the dominate cells...and success for Connor!!

Connor had one bad moment this week. The radiology department made a cast of Connor's face and constructed a mask for him to wear during radiation therapy. So it came time for the first radiation treatment and the mask was placed over his face. Now Connor is used to the way things are done at Arkansas Children's Hospital...slowly and with every step explained to him. So when the radiology team moved more quickly and with less explanations at TTI, it scared him when they placed the mask over his face for the first time. But the technicians were quite understanding...they took the mask off, talked to him, and when Connor was ready, they resumed the treatment.

And, of course, Connor came through with flying colors!!

There is a long and painful road ahead before Connor will be well. The worst and most dreaded part of the treatment will be the chemotherapy that will virtually destroy his immune system. It is going to be a very grueling road for an eight year old boy to travel.

But the transplant is scheduled for the second week in June and I know Connor will go through it as he has all of the last two years...like the brave warrior that he is!

I have to take a moment to thank everyone who has given time, money, emotional support and prayers for Connor. Thank you all so much. God bless you! And God bless Connor and all the children who are battling this insidious disease tonight!!