My Body!

As I said in my last post, I feel too young to be old, but I look too old to be young. Does anyone else have this problem? I suspect you do
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My body seems to have turned traitor on me. I feel like I did in my 20's and 30's but I look older than that. What should I do? Botox? Face lift? Lipo suction? Lord help me!

I was enrolled at a Cosmotology School last year and I have completed 700 hours of my training to become a Cosmotologist. I took time off to go galavanting with my Hubby. (I'm flighty, so sue me!) But before I did, I had an encounter one day, in the ladies room, with a very young, lovely twenty-something girl. And here is how it went....

She was examining herself in the mirror, then looking at me, she said "Oh no, that's a grey hair! (dripping sarcasm). And my hair is getting so thin. And I am getting wrinkles! I can't stand getting old." She gave me a quick glance and went out the door. Well....there wasn't a grey hair on her, she had a head of thick, luxurious brown hair and any wrinkles she saw were simply not there. She was perfect, beautiful.

However...I had grey hair, wrinkles and thinning hair. Hmm....maybe she was talking about me? Obviously she was. But I didn't confront her. She was so young and beautiful and I am old...and any physical beauty I had is now fading. So what could I say?

Still, I felt the sting of that little, petty unkindness. Then I thought about how quickly the years pass. And I know that one day that lovely young lady will be fifty...with grey hair, wrinkles and so many other indiginities that she doesn't yet know about yet.

And I wonder if she will remember the "old" lady who was in school with her. Will she think about what she said to me later on in her life? Probably not. But I wish her well. Maybe no one ever taught her to respect her elders. (Did I just say that? Yikes!)

How do I reconcile how I feel on the inside, with how I look on the outside? My sweet Hubby would agree to pay for cosmetic surgery. I know this for a fact. But why should I go to all that pain and expense when time is absolutely going to take it's toll...no matter what I do.

We have the money for me to have "cosmetic procedures". But I am proud, I admit, of having lived half a century. My wrinkles are a natural result of the life I have lived. They are my history. And I don't feel inclined to change my appearance just to suit someone else.

So I wear my wrinkles with pride. My thinning hair can be combed over in a pleasant style and as for the grey....well only my hair dresser knows for sure. In fact, my hair dresser is probably the only one who knows how much grey I have! Cause, honestly, I don't know!

Ah...well...maybe I am a little vain.

Blogging my Fifties

Hello everyone and welcome! I am on a journey through my 5th decade on this Earth-WOW! Half a century and still going strong. Of course, that is fairly common; people are living longer with a higher quality of life today more than ever before. I read somewhere that pioneer women lived to the ripe old age of 32, if they were lucky. Yikes!

I decided to write about my fifties because of the weirdness. I mean, I'm too young to be old and too old to be young. And that's weird. I haven't felt this confused about my place in the big picture since I was 15 years old. So I decided to keep this journal-of thoughts and activities, travels and temptations, fears and joys-for my own personal therapy.

I invite you all to travel with me on this journey. You are certainly welcome! I intend to write openly and honestly about being 5 decades old. You can expect fun mixed with frustrations and a generous sprinkling of joy, with only a dash of sorrow now and then (please God). And maybe you will see or hear something of yourself and your journey within my own. And maybe, just maybe, we can help each other along the way.