My 53rd Birthday Tomorrow...Can I Sleep Peacefully?

My grand daughter is pictured here, sleeping peacefully, on a recent family camp out...so lovely! Do you remember what it was like to fall asleep so easily? I do! Oh, how I miss that! I will have my 53rd birthday tomorrow...will I sleep this peacefully tonight?


I will officially be 53 years old tomorrow. (Yikes!) My blog is a running commentary on the fifth decade of my life, so I apologize ahead of time for my ramblings, but I can't help myself!

I married young, just 2 weeks short of my 18th birthday. We were just kids and didn't know anything except that we loved each other. So we proceeded to make a home together and have a family. We had no money and were quite naive and immature...

...yet, here we are, 35 years later, and still happy together. We have 2 children and 4 grand children and they are my delight and joy!

I have made a lot of mistakes in my 53 years. Some of them have been minor and others will haunt me until the day I die. But that's life. Oh, I never killed anyone or anything like that...but I am harder on myself, in judgement, than anyone else would be. Why is that?

When we have done the best we know how to do, often we still look back and think, "I could have done better."

When I was a little girl, I never thought of anything so deep or involved as these thoughts that run through my adult mind. My greatest worry as a child was the weather...if it rained, I knew I couldn't go out and play...and that was bad.

I remember going to bed at night, falling asleep so immediately that I wasn't aware of the process, and waking up in the morning, fully rested, thinking that I had only closed my eyes a minute ago...remember that?

As an adult, I often toss and turn, unable to sleep when there are so many things crowding my mind.

I continue to watch the weather every night to see if I can "go out and play". (Seriously, I do! I still love being outdoors.)

And I watch my lovely grand daughter fall asleep with such innocent ease that it makes me smile...and I sleep better...because it reminds me of how it felt (once upon a time) to close my eyes and truly rest...with no thought of what tomorrow might bring.

I am 53 years old tomorrow and I thank God for every blessing, experience, trial and year of my life! "No man is an island."...and it has been my great privilege to be surrounded by wonderful people who have helped me along the way.

I think I will sleep well tonight. I will sleep well because after 53 years of living I can say I have done all I know to do to be a good person.

My mistakes have taught me so much. And my blessings have made me thankful for what I have....and so my 5th decade continues...God bless you, my friends and sleep well.